It's Been TOO Long!

I think I am only going to post once a year. Time slips by extremely fast. It's been a year and half since my last post and so much has transpired since then. Life is good. No complaints there. I have much to be grateful for and much to praise the good Lord for. The economic state of our country has had a profound effect to those I know and love. To a certain extent my immediate family has been impacted as well. Despite it all, I strongly believe things could be so much worse and yet we are just fine. Sooooo grateful for that! 

My weight loss has stopped. I continue to work out and pay attention to what I eat. I found that despite all the hard work I have put into myself, my psychological health is not completely in the clear yet. It's been over three years since my surgery and I still struggle with the images in my head. There are moments when I look in the mirror and don't see the skinnier me. I still see the obese me! I believe this has to do with the programing of my mind. Memories stored in my long term memory do not easily dissipate. When I go shopping I'll pick the bigger size still thinking it will fit, when the reality is that it is too BIG! I often ask my husband if I look obese to him. His response is always that I look normal and to stop fretting over gaining weight! I still have much work to do with my fears of the weight creeping back on. The mind has a way about things. Dr. Daniel Ames calls these types of fears ants in your brain. I need to blow these ants out of the water!

Dear friends, I share this with you because aside from the wonderful changes that bypass surgery has brought into my life there are lingering issues that do persist. These issues may be different for you and for others. For me the biggest fear is gaining the weight back and with it all the health issues. 

I have been disease free for over 3 years and I am eternally grateful for that! I am the healthiest I have ever been! My only genuine issue is I have developed planter fasciitis on my right foot. All the cardio work outs and running did me in! I have had to modify my cardio work outs a bit. I use the elliptical machine more these days. I truly do miss my runs around the trails where I live. When I partake in heavy duty work outs I pay dearly for it! My right foot reminds me shortly after why I should not over do it! Aging is no fun, but  I am determined to not allow my mind to age with my body. 

Another note I'd like to address. During the first 18 months after my surgery I was in an eternal bliss. I was over joyed and often felt guilty for feeling too happy. In the mist of the happiness I realized that this emotion would sooner or later go away or reduce the level of intensity upon which I felt it. It did, but I am still happy not as euphoric as I was, but still very happy. Happiness is a choice. I have chosen to be happy. I would say my hormones do take over once in a while and my happiness level is reduced, but as soon as the hormone levels are restored so is my happiness level!

What I am trying to get at is that we are continually changing. Change is good it expands our comfort level. We were put on this earth to grow NOT to be comfortable. Staying in a comfortable state does not promote growth. Change promotes our growth and helps us move on to the next stage of our life. I am one that likes comfort very much. However, when I am placed in a position where change is taking place though it pains me at times... I simply surrender and move forward with the change. Please realize that I may put up a struggle before I realize that I just need to surrender. It's a process for me as I am sure it is a process for you. It's all about perspective and perception. Yes, change is not always good, but God uses this for the good. I simply accept this as truth. This helps me keep my sanity and my HOPE that things will get better. Hope is what keeps us going in moments of despair. I find that my hope is restored in the little morsels that God provides me with. My hope was restored just the other day when my brother mentioned he and his wife were now employed. This gave me a sense that just maybe our economy is getting a little bit better. 

I am grateful for all of it... the good, the bad and the ugly. I may not like it, but I must work with it all! Life happens and we must pick ourselves up and move forward. Stop complaining and start doing something about it! It's all in the doin'!  Don't let your fears hold you back. Expand your comfort zone! I know I am in the middle of expanding it myself. It's not the most comfortable place to be, but it's an end to a means. Thanks for stopping by. I hope my words are of some encouragement to you. 

With all my best,

Marie

It's Been A Year!

It's been a year since I created this blog page. Regrettably only one post. So much has happened since last March. I've been learning much about myself. I've been working on my relationship with God and with those around me including those that come into my life unexpectedly. 

I've learned to have a softer heart for those I have difficulties with. I've learned it's NOT all about me, though my ego would say otherwise. Most of all, I've learned I have a choice in being happy. I choose to be happy. No, life is not perfect, but I still I have a choice in regard to how I react.

Rhonda Byrne says it best, "Your life is a reflection of what you hold inside you, and what you hold inside you is always under your control."

It's been 21 months since my surgery. I have my life back, I have my health back! I am in a state of gratitude. I go hiking, and I go running. I discovered I love to run, especially around my neighborhood. I am blessed to live in an area where there are beautiful trails, and the beach is so near by. The scenery inspires me and I take joy in nourishing my body--that, and my wonderful ipod that provides the inspiring tunes! Corny, yes, I know! What can I say. 

Just a quick update: My last check up indicated my diabetes is in remission. My sugars are completely under control. I am off medications, even my asthma medication. Though for exercising,  I still use my fast acting inhaler. I am 15 pounds away from goal weight. 

My doctor was not kidding when he said the last twenty were going to be the hardest to lose. I've realized this painfully! I mean this in terms of exercising! I do think I will have to hire a trainer to help me get the last 15 off though. My husband has volunteered to train me. I'm just wondering when he'll get around to it.  He gave me a book on weight training. He assigned homework--to read the book!

In the meantime, my poodle and I are enjoying our hikes and running sessions around our neighborhood. She seems to take as much joy as I do in my new found love for outdoor exercise.

Well, for now I wish you good health, many blessings and most of all I hope that you make the choice everyday to be happy. It's good for health!

What a Blessing!

Hello All:

This is my very first posting. I am very excited. I feel this entry is a wonderful beginning to this blog. This blog will encompass many topics anything from health and beauty to serious and at times controversial topics.  My hope is that this blog will be haven for those that visit. You will soon see as topics are posted, why I want this blog to be a haven.  Some discussions will be of comfort and of great help. I have experienced much in my short 38 years. My intent is to share my experiences as well as the wealth of knowledge that I have been blessed with and hopefully you learn a thing or two. 

I am extremely blessed and I am very grateful for all that God has provided me with. My grandmother always said to me that God would never give more than what I could handle. To this date, I truly believe this. Despite hard and difficult times, each experience has provided me with incredible wisdom and growth. As I have experienced, I have learned, and as I have learned I have grown, and as I have grown, I have shared. Sharing is what this blog is all about!

In the spirit of sharing, I liked to discuss a topic that is rapidly becoming an epidemic in this country--Diabetes Type II. I have diabetes, I am NOT diabetes. This is an incredible statement, because from the moment I was diagnosed I BECAME diabetes. I was not just a person with diabetes, but rather I became the full blown reched disease! Diabetes consumed me physically and mentally to the point my health was in my opinion rapidly deteriorating. After six years or so of living with this disease, I came to a very drastic decision. At the time, it seemed drastic, today, it's not so drastic, but rather more realistic. 

The moment, I was diagnosed, I started making changes. I was the ideal patient. I followed the regiment my doctors had prescribed. I followed a strict diet and exercise. So, why was my diabetes not getting better? I soon learned that it was not just about treatment, exercise and diet. I learned that my genetic predisposition and stress levels played a huge component. I found exercising increased my sugar, instead of dropping it. I learned that if I was stressed out my sugars went up. I found that if I did not get enough rest my sugar went up. I also found that as this was happening my weight and my blood pressure was also going up. But, wait! I was exercising and following a diabetic diet. And yet, I am gaining weight and my blood pressure is up! 

I visited yet another Endocronologist seeking answers. Unfortunately, she really did not have anything new to say. Her best explanation to me was that science cannot offer me answers at this time. However, she explained studies are showing that bariatric patients were either no longer diabetics or their diabetes was becoming more and more controllable. Some patients after a significant amount of weight loss eventually were not diabetics anymore. I listened to this information, but was not ready to make such a drastic decision. 

I returned to my regular endocronologist  and continued with my treatment regiment making adjustments here and there. Eventually, my doctor advised that if my labs did not show a significant improvement on my next three month visit, we would have to consider insulin. I knew there would be no consideration, I would actually have to go on insulin. I knew going on insulin would mean more weight gain. My five foot three frame could not handle more weight. This much I knew. I left her office and went directly to my computer and started doing research on gastric bypass. I also attended open forum discussions, met with support group patients that had the procedure. I spoke with surgeons that performed this type of surgery. I found two surgeons with an impeccable record. These two surgeons offered a comprehensive program and took the time to answer my many questions. They reviewed my medical records and ordered comprehensive tests. After all the research, serious soul searching, and major prayer, I came to a decision. (Side note: Thank God for my husband! He was an incredible support to me. He never pressured me into anything, but rather allowed me to make my own decisions). I decided to proceed with the surgery. 

I came through surgery wonderfully.  After surgery, I adjusted very well to my new lifestyle. I am grateful that my diet was clean prior to surgery. The only huge adjustment was taking the time to chew food well, and slowing down and taking the time to eat my food instead of gulping it!--No more eating on the run. Two weeks before surgery, I had come off all diabetic meds, and I stayed off of them from that point forward. I am no longer a diabetic. I have lost over seventy pounds in nine months. 

My journey with diabetes was a long and painful one. I can honestly say that it was a journey that I needed to take. I learned much about myself and about the kind of life  I wanted to lead. I am a healthy physically fit 38-year-old woman. I am blessed without a doubt. God did not give more than I could handle. He also gave me a voice so that I may share my experiences with others. 

If you have diabetes type II and are struggling with controlling it, please know you are not alone. There are others just like you. No, science does not have all the answers, but I believe answers will soon be available. In the meantime, I implore you not to give up. I am not suggesting to fight the disease, because I have found anytime you fight, something not so positive happens. Instead, I am suggesting  that you make peace with diabetes. Do not become diabetes, but become who you truly are. Learn about your condition and what your body wants of you. Advocate for yourself at all times. If a medication does not sit well with you, then have your doctor work with you in finding one that will work. Do not let diabetes control you or your life! You have a say so, and you will always have a choice to view things in a positive light or not. However, I can tell you that viewing things in a positive manner definitely makes a difference. If you focus on the negative aspects, your thoughts and behavior will reflect this and soon you will find yourself in a pool of despair. Not only will you be in this pool of despair, but you will also be dragging your loved ones with you.

With that said, thank you for taking the time to read through this first entry. My sincerest hope is that you walk away having learned something new. Keep a positive outlook, you only have one life to live!